END OF SUMMER BLOG (2025) 😏😏

SUMMERy:: 

- So even though I'm not required to do these anymore, I decided to pick it up again. I decided to use this not only as some place to write my thoughts but also to keep track of projects and work. Anyways Hey guys what's up so this summer I don't know if I'd call it productive enough, but I guess I did a lot of things. One of the biggest things though was that I did Summer PE and honestly it wasn't that bad. Even though I'm not the most active person, I really started to enjoy running now even though when I actually run I want to die. There were times I cried in the summer because I thought I wasn't spending my summer correctly. But then I realized, its literally summer. Why am I worried about if I do nothing my entire summer? It's not like I haven't done anything. Also, another thing about Summer PE, it really helped me learn about people like teachers and also make friends with people I didn't talk to as much in 'Ilima and people who were older than me. I had some hangouts with friends and also watched shows like squid game and toilet bound hanako kun. Also I played a bunch of games too. like grow a garden. I've decided that I'll try not to play roblox as much because I could spend my time doing other things. I've been saying that a lot but when I do have the time I mostly fail to meet it halfway. I tell myself  I can finish it but then I don't and boom its already 2 AM and I'm losing sleep. But its summer it doesn't matter. 

HIGHLIGHTS:: 

 Highlights of this summer would be not summer pe but mostly drawing. ANother highlgiht would be radio head because I love listening to radio head and its like they've chagned my life honestly. ANother highlight would be big mouth strikes again and also guitar even though it made me pretty mad. I drew a lot though and I also watched a lot of shows and I guess I was pretty productive this summer but not as productive as I wanted to. I watched kitchen nightmares haha. I also got procreate which is pretty good. I also started playing deltarune which is the best game ever. I made like almost 100 drawings like my count is 90 but I didn';t count the layers. Then we had end of summer field trip which was really fun. Honestly I'll come back to this do count my work later. I also watched toiletbound hanako and summer hikaru died. 

LOWLIGHTS::

- One of the biggest lowlights was the thoughts, "Am I wasting my time?" and "What's the point of doing all of this if I can't even FINISH what I started." and , "Am I doing enough?" This summer really had me thinking that I wasn't doing enough even though it was literally summer. Over this summer I've had plenty of works in progress. Looking on it now, I think that I could've pushed myself to finish atleast three of them. However I guess I;ll look forward to these next couple months to work on it during my free time. Another lowlight would be deadlines. The deadlines I said to do later are coming to haunt me and honestly my motivation isn't here. So during this summer, I decided to come up with a strategy, when I don't want to do something. count from 5 to 0 and get up and do it right away especially if it can be done in less than 30 minutes. Another lowlight would be the Tsunami because I had to evacutate and it was so anticlimatic. 

 

LESSON LEARNED::

- My lesson learned is that I tend to let my productivity define my worth. I guess like I said in previous blogs I tend to worry that in inadequate and I'm not okay unless I'm constantly working on something. But I realized, constantly working on something, will only drain you out. Breaks are meant for a reason. They're meant to refresh your mind before you can get back to something. I see 30 second animations that took 6 or 2 months to make on youtube. and they're absolutely stunning. I couldn't make that in a week. I realized that those people take breaks in between they do side projects then forward their attention back to their main project when they felt ready. I guess another reason would be my parents because I don't want to let them down either. I don't want their sacrifices for me to go to waste because I know they are going through tough times already. I want them to be proud and to see that I'm progressing in the things i do. However, in all honesty that just makes me feel more like a fraud rather than happier. It feels like I'm checking off a checklist rather than finding joy in it. Therefore, I want to develop some other reason and significance for myself because I know I can still find joy in it. 

another lesson learned is to distance myself from social media. Honestly I do open my phone every day but not for hours on end. I don't spend more than 20-30 minutes on any platform. Except for youtube because I like documentaries haha.