WB44: YIKES.

THIS WEEK::  🧠💥

It felt like hell on earth. No thats an exaggeration. It was just stressful for me. Maybe i was over thinking it but anyway, this week it felt like I was in those memes of those guys who are pushing boulders up a mountain... This week we only went to school twice for testing. It wasn't bad but it wasn't fun either.. There was a roach in a101 at some point it was funny.So basically the first two days, monday and tuesday was for testing. Monday was ELA CAT and ELA PT, Tuesday was MATH CAT, and NGSS SCIENCE or whatver. I wonder why its called cat though. Anyways after that, wednesday was one of my worst days. Or not really it just felt like I was geuinely dreaming. I was like it felt like my mind was a universal plane above where it should be. Like I would look at emma and alex and be like, when am I gonna wake up from this dream and wonder why my friends were all in my dream? Maybe it was because of how stressed I was because I geuinely felt like I was detaching myself and lost in thought. Stress had to be the word of the week with how much I was using it. But i guess well it is 4th quarter, one of the busiest, and stressful ones of all. It makes sense but I wish I could go back to first quarter for the ease but then thats just wishful thinking. Time travel isn't real. Anyways speaking of that, for my ELA PT, I geuinely love the performance tasks becuase its just like writing your mind out. Anyways I got an argumentative on Women Inventors. Mines was one Virginia Apgar who made the Apgar Score which is used today to assess newborns conditions.Pretty cool if you ask me. ANYWAYS this week I focused on unwinding in a way because I felt like my brain was being scretched out. So I decided to soend my 5 day weekend drawing, I made not one BUT TWO ANIMATIONS. BEAT THAT HAHAHA! IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF. ONOE WAS IN AN HOUR ANOTHER WAS IN TWO DAYS. AND I GOT ANOTHER IDEA FOR MY ANIAMTIC. that should keep me busy. Another thing I did was watch madoka magica again and even pirated the rebellion movie. Turns out theres another movie coming out this year for it. Another thing I watched was made in a abyss, REG IS MY FAVOROTE. the world building in that is incredibly sick. INSANE ITS SO GOOD LIKE I FEEL LIKE I"VE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING GOOD TO WATCH THAT I CAN COMPREHEND. THen I also got a bunch of cardboard and started making something.

HIGHTLIGHTS:: 

 This week some highlights would be watching videos and watching things as I worked on other things to help me find some sort of peace of mind. Anyways I was really into watching cave diving accidents and deaths until recently when i started watching animal attacks. I watched documentaries on ape attacks, lions, tigers, crocodiles, and even polar bears. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND JUMPS INTO A POLAR BEAR ENCLOSURE WILLINGLY? Not even accidental, WILLINGLY. So stupid seriously.   Another one I watched was a guy going into a lion enclosure when the lion was well quoting the video, "obviously stressed" Like its no surprise he almost got mauled... Okay the ape attacks are crazy. Some guy lost his nose, hand, and testicles and another kid got his lower mouth almost pulled off. its absolutely crazy. Like woah dude. So glad I don't have a pet ape. plus pet apes are illegal now. Another highlight would be sunday btw I watched hte minecraft movie with period five, plus cassell, but also minus olivia cause she couldn't go... :(. chicken jockey..............  STOP EVERYONE WAS CLAPPING IN THE THEATER THEY WERE SO POLITE. anyways another highlight woudl be the TWO ANIMATICS. HIGH FIVE TO ME YAHAW. Another highlight would be my cardboard project im working on. if only i had GLUE STICKS. FOR MY HOT GLUE GUN. Anotehr highlight would be the bottle cap I found, its the sun flower looking thing in the photos below. CRAZY RIGHT? IT wAS A BEER BOTTLE CAP AND YET LOOK WAHT IT TURNED INTO. also we did music this week, I loove music I got to play the songs I wanted, but sadly only one day of music. Also final highlight I found a game called monsters for hire or something on roblox and the lore is something like I'm awfully curious about. THIS BLOG TOOK 30 MINUTES TO WRITE SIMFAKJSA.

LOWLIGHTS::

My first lowlight of the week has to be testing. I cannot find the best way to explain how much I was stressing over the math and science one. I was absolutely terrified like I was trying so hard to remember how I felt with testing last year but I completely forgot. Anyways SBA has to be one of the craziest things ever because when i opened the science test, THERE WAS NOTHIGN I KNEW. IM BEING SO SERIOUS. Then for the math one, its like I forgot everything that I learned which and I was stresing so hard I studied for 3 days. And like when I opened the test I completely forgot what angles were. But the ELA ones weren't that bad. Im not looking forward to EOC or Iready Diagnostic. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I can't relax. Another lowlight is coughing, Ive been coughing for the entire week and I feel sick. Another lowlight is the fact that I couldn't find any hot glue sticks for my hot glue gun. I spent around an hour searching and instead I found my missing capo and guitar picks... I'm really not looking forward to monday. 

 

LESSON LEARNED::

My lesson learned is not to hate myself for how I react and my growth is a journey not a race . Over this week I spent days stressing over the math and science SBA becuase I was so worried since I need it to do good on the math one to get into Algebra 2 and I wanted to do good on the science one because everyone else was getting 500s. I couldn't relax for days and unwind. I learned that I cared so much and stressed over a stupid test and if I learned anything else from it, it just kind of showed myself my drive and how hard I will try to work towards something I really want to achieve. I guess to summarize, I wouldn't call myself smart in anyway because in reality I really am not that smart. I guess I would call myself really hardworking because of what drives me. Tests don't define my worth, or anything. I need to understand that if I need to do something again and again just to get it, so be it. Its not worth comparing myself to others in an invisible competition or the matter of thinking I was left behind. I need to focus on my own development and go at my own pace. . . I guess I always hated the thought of falling behind because of some fear that I fall short and I'm truly not capable and I'm not doing my best. In a way it's like a sense of internalized pressure on myself. I always have this mindset that I need to place high demands on myself even if some of them is unrealistic. I might be to overly ambitious and without achievements, I feel like I don't accomplish enough, and I forget some of my old achievements and strengths because I am so easily blinded with another obstacle. Reflecting and being nicer on myself is something I want to work on.